


Weirdest stag party ever

by spockside



Series: Phone tag [7]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Bachelor Party, Cultural Differences, Gen, Humor, Male Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-14
Updated: 2012-05-14
Packaged: 2017-11-05 09:15:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/404736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spockside/pseuds/spockside
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"This is *Tony Stark's* stag party," Clint snorts. "You can't make this stuff up."</p><p>In which Tony's friends are all in hot water, and there are no strippers, alcohol, or twisted party games. Yet.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Weirdest stag party ever

"This is without a doubt the weirdest stag party I have ever attended," said Lieutenant Colonel James Rhodes. "I'm going to have to make something up to tell the guys back at base."

He and three other men were in hot water. Literally; they were soaking in a large sunken pool with a view of the Pacific Ocean outside the picture windows, at the Laguna Cliffs day spa. Rhodey wasn't sure what he felt was weirder - the stone massage or the herbal detox earlier that day. Now the group had reconnoitered to wait for the groom, who had had to take a phone call and left the room.

Clint Barton snorted.

"It's Tony Stark's stag party," he said to the other man. "You can't make this stuff up. Any story you invent is going to sound inadequate."

"Why would you have to make something up?" asked Steve.

"Have you *ever* been to a bachelor party, Steve?" said Rhodey.

"Nope," the captain replied. "Only rich people did that back in the day. The closest anybody I know got was when Wally Dodge went on a bender the night before he was supposed to get married, and missed the wedding."

"How could you miss your own wedding?" asked Clint.

"Somebody found him passed out at the back of the bar," Steve told him, "and they looked at his papers and stuck him on a train to Weymouth. He shipped out the next day. His fiancee was fit to be tied."

"Did they ever get married?" asked Bruce Banner.

"Oh, yeah. The next time he got leave, she showed up at the base with a couple of MPs and wouldn't let him out of her sight until they found the chaplain. Who also happened to be her cousin."

"How convenient," said Bruce, just as their host came into the room with his phone pressed to his ear and no other clothing, adornment, or accessories.

"I know, I'll be right there," he was saying. "Don't - what? No, he's just a guy, holy crap, you'd think you'd never seen a Norse god before. Just treat him nice, like you do everybody, and I'll be right out."

He snapped the phone shut and heaved a big sigh of frustration. Seeing the rest of the guys looking interested, he said, "Thor is at the front desk, and the staff is in a tizzy. I should have asked for Max to handle this gig, not leave it to the poor saps on the day shift."

"What's the tizzy about?" Clint asked.

"Seems he brought Mjolnir with him."

"He brings Mjolnir everywhere," said Rhodey, with the air of a man who admired a guy who never went anywhere unarmed.

"And a cask of ale."

The group laughed and whooped.

"Okay, Steve, that's it, you're the designated driver," said Rhodey. Steve just rolled his eyes, having been familiarized with this concept early on in his relationship with the Avengers.

"They're not sure if they should let him in. Alcohol isn't allowed on the premises, and the hammer is making them nervous. I have to go vouch for him personally; I'll be back in five."

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Rhodey asked pointedly. "Like, a towel?"

Tony turned on his way to the door.

"Nah, I might need to create a diversion," he grinned and went out. Rhodey shrugged.

"The thanks I get for trying to cover his ass," he muttered.


End file.
